Have you married aged people same as your father age?

abumurad By abumurad, 12th Oct 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Jobs>Careers

Whether they are conscious of it or not, many women end up marrying a man who reminds them of daddy: for better or worse.

Difficult relationships

Whether they are conscious of it or not, many women end up marrying a man who reminds them of daddy: for better or worse.
Tell that woman that she fell in love with the man she married because he resembled her father, and she will probably laugh at you. But, whether they realize it or not, a great number of women do settle down with someone who reminds them of their fathers, experts agree.
When seeking a spouse, a woman may not be conscious of wanting to marry someone like her father, but she often ends up with a man who closely resembles him. The first picture a girl gets of a man is her father, and that picture, which represents all men, stays with her through her adult years.
Indeed, there are many theories as to why women marry men who remind them of their fathers. Some experts believe that this may be an attempt to resolve issues from the past.
Difficult relationships
This does not always translate into something good. Some psychologists conclude that women tend to marry a man who reminds them of their most difficult parent. And in general, daughters have a more difficult relationship with their fathers than their mothers.
Sometimes, a woman marries a man who has the same had habits as her father. There is a strong urge in many women to see themselves as a rescuer. They want to save him from the same fate as their father, something they were powerless to do as a child. As a result, it is not uncommon to sometimes find the daughter of an alcoholic marrying an alcoholic, or the daughter of a womanizing father marrying a ladies' man, in the hope that they can reform their husband to heal the damage in their childhood.
Similarly, the daughters of fathers who rarely showed affection are often attracted to an uncompromisingly masculine man, also in the hope of reforming him.
But if a woman feels anger at her father's behaviour, she may deliberately seek a husband who is quite different to him. If you study the relationships some women have with their fathers, then you will better understand what influenced their choice of husbands in later life.
The celebrity example
One only has to look to the celebrity world to see this being played out - where women seek a father figure to replace an absent father or an inadequate one. A good example was Paul McCartney, 63, and his ex:-wife Heather Mills, 36.
Mills' story is a classic example of how childhood can influence one's choice of spouse. Her childhood was fraught with insecurity and angst - her father was jailed for fraud when she was 13, she ran away from home and lived on the street, and was later put on probation for theft. Marrying McCartney - 27 Nears her senior - provided her with the much-needed stability and security that had been absent from her life since young. As she once said: "Paul brings the child out in me."
Another celebrity who looked to her older husband for the lack of a father figure is Italian siren Sophia Loren. Her real father had little to do with her upbringing. Susan Forward, author of Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Then, concludes that Sophia married Carlo Pointy, a man 20 years her senior, because "he was stable and could provide her with the caring that she never got from her father. Rather than re-enacting her past, she was making tip for it".
Explaining why women seek a father figure in an older man. These relationships are primarily motivated by the desire to be looked after materially and emotionally. The father's role is to protect and provide for you. These fatherless women are looking for an idealized version of the absent father figure and often idealize the older man.
Then again, some experts believe that many women are simply used to living with their father and therefore seek out a similar man for the sake of familiarity. Take for example, singer Celine Deon. Although she came from a happy family background she had to share the affection of her parents with her 13 other siblings. No wonder then, that she was taken by respected talent agent Rene Angelil when she was just 12, and he was 38. He liked her voice so much that he decided to mortgage his house to finance her debut album. It was natural that she saw in him a man who, like her father, wanted the best for her and was prepared to take chances for her. They ended up marrying when she was 26 and he 52.
Another shot at childhood
Many young girls base their male romantic ideal on their relationship with their father. In fact, her many interviews revealed that even at the tender age of three, a girl can be at the stage of her development when she wants to marry daddy and have another out of the way.
Women's attachments, or lack of them, are mirror images of how they related to their fathers. People often instinctively repeat what they experienced in childhood, even if it was the worst thing in the world. It's what they know. They are trying to have one more shot at childhood.


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author avatar abumurad
I am freelance writer specializing in financial topics and political commentary, gardening and ecology, psychology, and paranormal and New Age topics. My non-writing professional experience includes s

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