Zarathruster By Zarathruster, 12th Mar 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Jobs>Interviews

An opinion piece on recruiters for employment. The unnecessary job of recruiters and how they are basically incompetent and useless.



Recruiters for employment are some of the most useless people on earth. They perform a function that could easily be eliminated and given to anyone else in a corporate setting. The idea of a recruiter is in itself flawed and should be eliminated from our consciousness.

The recruiters 'job' is to recommend or eliminate you from a potential position within a company. This is not the case and is the farthest thing from the truth. The problem is that they are so afraid of their job being eliminated that they have no ability whatsoever to make an honest or fair appraisal of anyone that sits in front of them. They are a 'go between' ill defined way station... an unnecessary waste of space and human capital. They are overwhelmed with resume's and the self important nature of their position allows them to actually believe they are capable of making a decision- any decision- on the ability of an applicant to succeed. We would all be immensely better off by running CV's through a scanner that picks up key words, phrases and numbers to be forwarded to a VP or a manager capable of hiring. The recruiters job can be reduced to a simple pre programmed document scanner which would be better suited to the task.

The personality of a recruiter lends itself to actually believe they perform a viable function. They are delusional at best and wrong most of the time. Internal corporate recruiters are the most delusional and exist primarily as a write off for a company and a head count for medical benefits. Going around them to get an interview is a guarantee of not getting hired, for their self importance has not been properly recognized and placated to. I have seen recruiters "sit in" during interviews which they had no part in setting up in order to be able to feel that they are an integral part of something that was done for them. I have visited corporate recruiters in their little offices and wondered how they justify full time positions and what it is they really do other than fielding phone calls and performing HR functions. These people are actually given their own offices to continue being as useless as possible.

External recruiters are also equally useless and at best, bad actors and as wrong as the day is long.
The typical external recruiter is misinformed, yet tells you he has the ability to find opportunities that match your background and skill level. Ask one of these useless idiots if they read you resume' and they will eagerly respond with "yes..and it looks impressive.." Chances are, they glanced at it and saw an industry they might be able to sell you into like a used car. Be prepared for questions to be asked of you that are on page one of your CV, then to be given a lame excuse about how 'busy' they are and how many positions they are filling. There is no requirement to be able to read above a sixth grade level to be a recruiter. They simply fake it and never make it. A favorite tactic of the external recruiter is the phone interview. This increases their self importance exponentially...they really believe that they are conducting an interview, when in actuality, they are reading a script that took them six months to master. Thank god the script is only five questions- any more than that and they might have an aneurysm. Don't expect the recruiter to get back to you or give any feed back about your scripted interview, that is well above their pay grade. When called and questioned about their little role play fantasy, they will get nervous, begin stammering and send you an email someone else wrote for them.
I have a great deal more respect for a toll bridge worker than a recruiter, they actually perform a useful function. I don't think recruiters would have the skill set necessary to be a toll taker. It would require a very long re-training for them and a lot of them they probably wouldn't make it.

The obvious solution is to completely do away with any notion of the job title "Recruiter". All recruiters should be mandated to meet once a week in the county or jurisdiction where they live and begin learning to read and write, as well as to apologize for their existence to all who have come into contact with them. Since their occupations have been so harmful to the general public, they should be required to make amends through a mandatory 50 hours of community service. Any individual that can prove a case whereby a recruiter caused him or her financial harm through incompetence should be able to sue the recruiter in a court of law at no expense to the plaintiff. Our society will be much better off and we can all begin to arise from the brain dead sleep of our human energies being tied to aggressively stupid and useless sub humans known as recruiters.


Recruit, Recruiter, Recruiting, Recruitment

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author avatar Zarathruster
Internationally Acclaimed Writer of Satire and Human Interest

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